I received a question recently that is something that I hear quite often, and that is, “Can your spouse counteract your manifestation of abundance of prosperity if they have a scarcity mindset?” It is such a great question.
You’re building your vision, you’re working on your mindset, you’re noticing what you’re noticing, you’re starting to come from abundance, and you’re seeing some things happen.
Yet, your partner in the household has a lack or scarcity mindset, where they’re constantly worried about money or how you’re going to achieve the goals you aim for. So this question really is, can your partner’s mindset impact your manifestation ability?
To answer this question, I will revisit a quote that I often use, and it’s Eleanor Roosevelt who said “All the water in the world cannot drown me unless it gets inside of me.” What she is really saying is that other people’s opinions and mindsets can’t impact me unless I allow them to. It’s the same in this case.
Can somebody else’s scarcity or lack mindset impact your ability to attract more abundance in your life? And the answer is both yes and no.
At the core, nobody can impact your ability. You are responsible for your own mindset, creation, and manifestation. What’s required in order for you to manifest and create more abundance is that you stay in alignment with that abundance mindset. That you sit in what’s called centre stream with that truth – that we live in an abundant universe that anything that you desire absolutely can be yours. And it’s our work individually to stay grounded in that truth and that knowing. That’s why the answer is no, somebody else can’t impact that you have free will. You are absolutely in control. In fact, the only thing you can control in your life is what’s going on in your mind.
The reason why the answer is also yes to that question, is if you’re at the dinner table and your partner is asking how we’re going to pay our bills this month, and really in a scarcity and lack mindset in that discussion. By being a part of that conversation, if you also start doubting your abilities, if you start thinking to yourself, maybe we can’t do that. Maybe I’m being a little too pollyanna-ish. And you start having those doubts. In that moment that you’ve allowed their opinion to impact your thinking and how you’re feeling, now you’re no longer in harmony with that abundance. This will start to shake you, which will impact your results.
I’ve heard the expression that one person connected to source (the way that I would describe that is to connected to God, to connected to vision, connected to truth), is more powerful than a million people disconnected.
Think about that for a second.
You connected to your truth, you connected to the idea of abundance, your vision, when you are so grounded in that, you are more powerful and more impactful than a million people that are connected to scarcity, lack, discontent, worry.
That’s how powerful of a creator you are.
This is why it is most important that you are concerned with your own thinking, your own emotions, because that’s what’s controlling your results.
So how can you be in relationship then with somebody who has a scarcity mindset, somebody who has a lack mindset, so it doesn’t impact you and how you’re feeling?
The mindset piece is to really make agreement with this idea that nobody else can impact me. Just like Eleanor Roosevelt says, all the water in the world cannot impact me unless I let it in, so really make agreement that you’re going to do everything you can to maintain that mindset and that knowing.
The strategy piece here is what I found really helpful for clients in this particular situation, and that is to invite your partner into an experiment. The way to do this is to say “Hey, I’ve got this idea that I would love to run by you that’s going to help deepen our relationship and our connection. Is now a good time to talk about that?” By approaching it this way, you’re setting the intention by stating why you want to have this conversation, and you’re asking them if now is a good time. That is important because you want their full attention. You don’t want them to be in the energy of “uh oh I’m in trouble, I did something wrong.” You’re really setting that intention and you’re setting yourself up for success. And chances are, your spouse wants to be in conversations with you that are going to elevate your relationship and connection. When it’s the right time to have that conversation you can say to them, “I’ve been working with some ideas and some principles on how we can really create more abundance, more love, more connection inside of our lives,” and then invite them into an experiment. “Would you be willing to experiment with me over the next 30 days, where in the next 30 days, instead of talking about what we don’t have, we really focus on what we do have in our life? We can talk about what we’re grateful for instead of talking about why we can’t do things? Really being in that imagination to ask ‘what if we could?’ For the next 30 days, we can hold each other accountable where you can say to me if I’m coming from a place of lack or ‘I can’t.’ You can say to me, ‘hey let’s reframe that.’ And I can do the same for you.” And by entering into an experiment, you now get to set those ground rules together. And if you’re able to live into that experiment for the next 30 days, things will open up in your life. The conversations will be more expansive. You’ll start to manifest some things and chances are they’re going to want to continue inside that way of life.
Again, the mindset piece is making that decision – nobody else can impact me except me, and you’re deciding to be a really good steward of your own thoughts and your own emotions.
The strategy piece is to invite your partner into an experiment, and experiment with abundance thinking for 30 days and watch what happens.
I hope that serves you. Let me know how the experiment goes inside your life and your relationships.
Here’s to you living a life you love,