I remember hearing an interview with Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx, and she talked about when she first had the idea of of Spanx. She said it took her probably just over a year before she shared that idea with anybody, for a really important reason. And it’s a question I get a lot as people start to work on their vision and ask that question “What would I love?” and start to dream up a life. They have these ideas, it could be for a business, product or service, or maybe what they would love in their relationship, or for a home. As they start to get excited about their dream, the tendency is we want to share it with the world. If you’ve ever read a really great book or seen a great movie, we want to show it to our friends and post on social media, because we want to share that experience.
My coaching to people is that it’s so important to keep your dream and your goals safe, or sacred, especially in the beginning when they’re new to us. When it’s a new idea, dream, or goal, it’s something we haven’t done before. Imagine sharing it with somebody else, and they say “I’m not sure if that’s a great idea.” Or, “How are you going to do that?” Or, “Remember when you tried that before and it didn’t work out?” What happens is we start to take our dreams and we lay them on the altar of other people’s opinions. And then we start to wobble. We doubt ourselves, criticize our skills and start wondering if this is practical, realistic, or if I can really do this.
If we’re not careful, and if we don’t have proper structures of support around us, I like to say a raised eyebrow can kill a dream. It can amplify our own self-doubts, our own inner critic, and prevent us from really moving forward with something that we would love.
So when Sara Blakely was asked about this, she said “I didn’t want to hear other people’s doubts, other people’s criticisms.” And one of the most common ones that she was afraid of was, “If this was a good idea, someone else would have already done it.” Have you ever had that thought? If this was really a good idea somebody else would have created this product, or this service by now. She knew how important it was to keep her idea secret from other people so that their criticism and doubts didn’t jeopardize her own.
So when do we share our dream with people? Who do we share it with? If f you have a coach or a mentor, that’s their job to hold your dream safe, to help remind you of the possibility and the power that’s breathing you. Reminding you that if you had that dream, it’s absolutely possible. Having somebody in your life that can hold that dream, that can believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself is really, really important.
The time to start sharing that dream with friends, with family, with other people is when you’re feeling more anchored with it. When you feel confident. I’m doing this. I don’t care what you say, this is happening. As you start to build your own confidence and your own connection with that dream, that’s when it’s more safe to share it with other people, because you’re feeling more solid. You’re on solid ground, you’re less likely to wobble.
So, share your dream with people who you trust, who you know can hold that safe, who are going to believe in you and that power that’s breathing you. Not in the conditions, not in the circumstance, not in past failures or other things that have gone wrong, but really hold that for you. That’s who you want to share your dream with. Dare to ask the question “What would I love?”, create those dreams and visions. Not by what you think is possible, but by what you would love. It starts there. And then to protect your goals and dreams, just like you would a newborn baby, and finally serving them with action.
Here is to you living a life you love,
Stacey
